At a hastily called, late-afternoon press conference at Champlain College, a college spokesman announced the mystery of the missing French explorer statue had been solved.
Turns out, he explained, an out-of-the-area mascot moving company's paperwork was mangled in their fax machine and their crew, delayed by having to take the ferry after discovering the Champlain Bridge had been blown up, was running late and thought they were supposed to pick up the Champlain statue, when really they were supposed to get the "Champ" statue from the Waterfront Ferry dock.
The aging plastic model of the infamous "Champ" monster alleged to live in Lake Champlain has seen better days and is slated for refurbishing and scale-lift.
"We thought that damn statue was a lot heavier than expected, but it was dark and we didn't want to disturb the students in the IDX Student Life Center enjoying their weekly Grind Open Mike session," said the driver, who asked not to be identified.
"It's bad enough my back is never going to be the same, but if my boss finds out we caused all this ruckus in Vermont, New York and Quebec, somebody going to get their butt kicked, and it ain't gonna be mine."
By 5 p.m. the statue was back in its rightful place, the media storm has quieted and students heading to dinner were able to stop by and touch the foot of the brave bronze explorer back from his journey and happily kneeling on the smooth pedestal bearing his name.
A planned candlelight vigil was called off, and students were urged instead to attend a "Murder-Mystery Evening" in Hauke Conference Center, attend a free movie, or a "Zombies vs. Humans" club meeting in the Digital Computer lab.
"It was really quite touching how many people responded today, especially some special members of the media who helped get the word out during the uncertainty and angst of losing the Champlain College namesake," the spokesman said. "Some of those Tweets and Facebook notes really tug at your heart," he said speaking for a diverse student population, both here and abroad at campuses in Dublin and Montreal, that could now return to what passes for normal at Champlain College and begin once again to worry about getting a job after graduation, a social media internship or landing a cool apartment with six buddies for fall.
"It was really quite touching how many people responded today, especially some special members of the media who helped get the word out during the uncertainty and angst of losing the Champlain College namesake," the spokesman said. "Some of those Tweets and Facebook notes really tug at your heart," he said speaking for a diverse student population, both here and abroad at campuses in Dublin and Montreal, that could now return to what passes for normal at Champlain College and begin once again to worry about getting a job after graduation, a social media internship or landing a cool apartment with six buddies for fall.
